Two Poems
still life with prosecco and television
Distracted by the light
of the half dozen moons around you
I did not immediately notice
the woman you were eating, her smooth ears
disappearing, her shoulders, belly, her sober
knees. Something
happened, then something else, and then
I was dumb and in love
like it was my job. In the first act, we are introduced
to the hero who is also
the villainess. Which is to say, she’s actively engaged
in the process of destroying herself
which is the surest way to get saved. I’m a little
drunk, but try to keep up:
There’s a woman being eaten by a tiger. No, a lioness.
No, another woman until
there’s almost nothing left of her. It’s possible
the woman doing the consuming
is her mother, or herself. Time will tell. We have not yet
exhausted the narrative
possibilities. When a woman touches her hair
in conversation, it’s safe
to assume she is romantically and/or sexually
interested. Also her insecurities
may extend to the haircut her flamboyant stylist
convinced her was fabulous
but makes her feel like an astronaut’s wife. Also
her face is damaged
from smiling. If you’re wondering
if it hurts, it does.
At this point, it’s clear that the woman consuming
is not the mother
but it still could be the mirror. We have
not revisited the issue
of the moons, or the you. Oh, abstraction. Oh, direct
address, where
do we go from here. I learned from the television show<
“Millionaire Matchmaker”
not only that everything is for sale (which I already
knew) but that what matters most
is inventing a best self and being that one. Which is not
such bad advice
except that the best selves the matchmakers mean
always require highly gendered
and expensive cocktail attire. Still we have not talked
about the moons. Most planets
have moons. Most stars are dead before we’re ever
aware of them. The sun
is a star. Marlon Brando was a star until he got fat
and weird, and then he died
though I’m not sure about the dead part. He never
forgave James Dean for being dead
so pretty. Where are my t-shirts? he’d bellow
from the dressing room. Where
are my iconic comparisons? This despite every strong-
jawed promise being as much
“the next Brando”as 90210’s broken sensitive poetry
boy was touched
by incessant calls to be the next
Jimmy Dean.
Oh, Jimmy Dean. Oh sausage festival of almost. My guess
is, you would have liked
to retire. To have the option to fade, to feed your body
to the lion of obscurity
or trudge on set, limp limbs a-dragging, old dragon
making the PAs faint and quote
obscure scripts from the ‘60s. The moon is a dead
planet. Rock licking the light
off reflection, lazy mirror. The woman being consumed
is not reflective. Is dry as buried
bone. Here is a you, here the second act, conflict. The heroine
consuming her own arm, basted
in rose wine and spermicide. The arm is gamey and irregular
in texture. This will teach us
to take care of ourselves with greater fidelity. What
if you have to eat that arm
someday! we will cry, inducing bouts of exercise
or respite, depending
on taste. Foie gras requires the goose to be held very still
and fed endlessly. It’s illegal
in two states. In Chicago, it was banned, unbanned,
and banned again. Lipidosis
produces a liver violently appealing to the elite
palate. Fetish wears a number
of popular hats. The girl is not her mirror. The mother
is not the moon. The moon
is not Marlon Brando. The tiger is not an astronaut.
James Dean is not
Act III. In Act III, the knees enter a confessional.
the Millionaire Matchmaker
is there. Why love now? she asks. Indeed, we intone,
the lioness, the moon, me. Why
love now indeed.
white girl interrogates her own heart again
Shut the door. Outside, the newspapers fly themselves
to the stone and glass of this place until the light stops.
Come, my little contradictory several-chambered thudder.
Take the chair closest to the radiator. We love our small
comforts. Our lavender tea and quiet boulevard. No one
is blaming you for these. Soldiers in all wars lean into
their vices, and I know that you hate war. But war
is here. Is you. Is our brilliant city, on fire even
as we speak. Is a flag we take to the back porch
to wring out quietly, before family arrives.
So as not to talk about the blood. So as not
to discomfort those who made us. But heart, oh
heart. Discomfort is the weapon we bring to this
needful table. Without you, we are all statistic
or fist. Without you, more and more fire. Look
how the wind disturbs the curtains through
the closed window. Look how it finds a way in.